As a teacher, I wear many hats. Sometimes I need to be a judge, a doctor, an actress, a confidant among many other things. Last week was one such week where I needed more heads for hats.
At the honor roll assembly, the best and brightest were rewarded for their stellar performances. Record numbers made the list of the brightest minds at my school. This was a day of celebration!
At the end of the day, 5th period, tired and worn, I greeted my class and began asking them about their day as I usually did.
One student, when asked, was surprisingly honest. She didn’t say “I’m doing fine” or “I had a good day.” She said “Today made me feel horrible. I continuously strive to do my best, but still can’t make the honor roll.”
It was in that instant that I needed my motivational speaker hat. “You can do it, push a little harder.” She sighed and said, “I have pushed, I have tried, this is my best but my mom wants a 3.0. I’m being compared to my brother ‘the principal’s list student’. I’m depressed and I feel like giving up. I don’t feel loved. I’m tired of being called lazy, when I know I’m trying.”
After putting on my investigator hat and making some inquiries, I noticed that she scores well during the term, but exams and most importantly studying is her problem. I understood her mother’s complaint, simply put, she needs to study more. But rather than just say study more, I recommended she go home and spend a few minutes rereading what she learnt in school each day, no procrastinating, no stress, just read. She determined to try that approach.
Her mom meant well, as every parent wants what is best for their child. But the way the message came across left her feeling like a disappointment to her family.
The Bible also references the need for gentleness in speech. John 8 vs. 1-11 details a story of Jesus coming to the rescue of a woman accused of adultery. Obviously adultery can destroy families, is wrong biblically and such a practice should be condemned.
The Pharisees sought to stone this woman, based on the law of Moses. But Jesus, being the new law, saw the woman as a human being; wrong but worthy of love and forgiveness. In that instant she recognized that he didn’t approve of her behavior but had a very different way of handling it.
The Bible didn’t go on to say what happened to the woman, but I am sure she was grateful to Jesus for literally saving her life. I would like to think that this one encounter with Jesus, completely different from the religious leaders that she knew, made her realize what love truly is and changed her completely.
As Proverbs 15 vs. 1&4 states “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.”
Proverbs 15:1 & 4 (NIV)
As individuals, we have the opportunity to inspire, motivate and bring change to those around us. We also have the power to destroy lives and relationships. It is my hope that we use our words to uplift.